Did you know that you have a right to a healthy relationship? Neither did I! As Kyle Smith notes, the real rationale for “nanny statism” ( a staple of liberal government) is to provide jobs (paid for by you and me) for state “nannies”. The average worker for New York City, factoring in salary, over-time and benefits, is worth $107,000 a year. Think on that as you sweat to pay off your graduate school loans or mortgages.
by Kyle Smith
A poster placed on a Midtown Duane Reade by a friendly city employee begins,
“Does someone you love:
“—Humiliate, criticize or yell at you?
“—Hurt you, or threaten to hurt you?
“—Control your money?”
After a litany of similar questions, the poster informs us, “You have the right to a healthy relationship. If someone you love is hurting you or if you are afraid of someone you love, help is available in your language.”
The kicker is this advice: Call 311.
Because they’ll fix your busted relationship.
How many people you love have ever criticized or yelled at you? Maybe I’ve had an unusually difficult life, but in my case the number of people I’ve loved who have ever criticized me is: All of them. My wife likes to pluck stray hairs out of my eyebrows in public. That ticks the boxes on humiliating me, hurting me and (implicitly) criticizing me right there. I could call for help. But I have my doubts that the city will help me find a better wife.
When Mayor Bloomberg invented New York City’s 311 phone line and website, it sounded like a great idea. And in many ways it still is. It gives you a one-stop source for all of your queries about city services/nuisances in one place.
[…]
Just try using 311 to complain about actions by bureaucrats such as the ones who staff 311. Like the nine business owners who were fined for propping open their doors during a heat wave. A spokeswoman for the Department of Consumer Affairs explained that her agency was monitoring the situation (there’s a job for you — propped-door detector) and responding to complaints. I wonder who lodged a complaint against, for instance, the Filene’s Basement in Union Square, which was fined $200. Daffy’s? TJ Maxx? Was Al Gore walking by and outraged by the cool air leaking onto grateful passersby? The DCA sounds a lot like a free revenge service for business rivals.
At some level, 311 — and by extension the city of New York — seems to think it’s in the business of improving your life. I have an idea for how to improve my life substantially: By spending my portion of the money the city is wasting on all these guidance counselors.
Read the rest here: Nanny state blues
Tags: Kyle Smith
