WASHINGTON DC, October 6 (Eliana News) – President Barack Obama’s Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel resigned from his job at the White House last week after a controversial 20 months at his post.
Eliana News has an exclusive report on Rahm Emanuel’s exit interview:
Barry: Hello, Rahm.
Rahm: Your Majesty…
Barry: You really don’t need to address me like that anymore.
Rahm: It could still happen – you never know.
[Both men sigh wistfully.]
Barry: Ok Rahm, please explain why you’re leaving your job at the White House.
Rahm: The rumblings about tar and featherings.
Barry: Come on Rahm, you know the Israelis weren’t serious about that.
Rahm: I meant from the U.S. House of Representatives.
Barry: Oh. A few too many towel snaps in the Congressional gym, eh?
Rahm: &%^$#@*%.
Barry: …AND way too many swearwords.
Rahm: &%^$#@*%.
[Barry takes notes]
Barry: I got that one.
Rahm: I don’t see why they cared about my swearing. #(*@&^$.
Barry: Well, things got bitter when the House Majority Leader had to put his parrot down after having you over for dinner.
Rahm: He was a nice parrot. So smart, too. Live and learn. #@*$^%#.
Barry: Yeah, he learned that word in particular and couldn’t stop saying it.
[Both men sigh again.]
Barry: Ok, Rahm. What would you say was the most valuable skill you used in your job here?
Rahm: Stirring up @*$^.
Barry: You did do that well. Anything else?
Rahm: Stirring up more @*$^.
Barry: Ok. I think this covers a lot of ground. Any parting words?
Rahm: I think the ^@%@*$ and the %#(@&%% should go $*@& themselves.
Barry: Ok, I think this wraps things up. Good luck in Chicago!
Tags: Open thread, Rahm Emanuel
