With just a little over a year left in the Obama Presidency, and we can look forward to him finally delivering his jobs proposal in only two more days. This has been kind of like waiting for Santa as a child for me. It has been a Christmas shopping season of wait for it, Santa is coming, followed by the immediate realization that I am Jewish, and Santa’s arrival, even if her were real, really would not do that much for me. What will his jobs speech mean in real terms? To put it bluntly, it will mean nothing more than the fact that I will once again see the President do the only thing he does well, and that is to read off of his teleprompter. Not to denigrate the fine skill given to him by his lifetime attendance of Toastmasters meetings, it after all got him elected to the most powerful office in the world. I also do not mean to belittle his skill at reading from that device, he does it perhaps better than anyone in history. It is just that we did not elect a teleprompter to his office, unfortunately we elected Barack Obama to that office.
What we have witnessed during the last 3 weeks has been nothing short of rivaling the excited state of every child who over eats on Thanksgiving and then spends the next 3 weeks speaking of nothing other than what Santa will bring him for Christmas. It has been 3 weeks since President Obama announced that after his vacation, he would address the single most important agenda item on his to do list for Presidents. Oh sure, he refocused his attention to jobs after every single poll announced that Americans in general were losing faith with him ever so slowly over the last 33 months. Being President though, it is really hard. So hard in fact, that even though he told us that he campaigned on the concept that we were already embroiled in the worst economy since the great depression, that he was up to the task of solving the economic problems we faced, he had no idea how bad the situation was that he happened to, “inherit,” from the despised Bush/Cheney team.
I saw something funny on the pre-work morning news shows this morning though. We were being told that the speech, was not going to be all it was hyped as being. We were told this morning, “don’t expect too much.” Now I have to ask, are you freaking kidding me? After announcing that you were finally going to address the topic that, and I’m quoting the President himself here, “is the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning and is the last thing I think about when I go to bed each night,” and then only addressing that very topic after a full 960 days in office, and you have the gall to attempt to lower my expectations. With all do respect Mr. President, either do your job or move yourself to the golf courses permanently. I have no doubt that you will deliver a tremendously well crafted speech. As I said before, it is the only thing you have shown proficiency for. You read that teleprompter well, it is just that the words written on it while you are reading that I find objectionable.
Mr. President, here is what you will read to us. You inherited a bad economy, due to President Bush being a poopyhead. The mean Republicans in the House won’t allow you to inflict your Socialist agenda upon us unfettered any more. Our tone is uncivil, and the Tea Partiers are extremists. We need to blow a bundle on infrastructure. The supposed green jobs will save us, and even though they have proven themselves to be a major failure in every place that they have been tried, we can make it work here. The rich folks aren’t sacrificing enough to suit you. You will offer a tax credit for some asinine governmentally approved behavior. I should hate people who fly in private jets, are executives of big oil, banking, insurance, or wall street. I should hate the corporations as well, just for good measure. You will add lip service to deregulation, but will only mention the idiotic ozone reg which was by the way failed by Yellowstone National Park. You will offer some meaningless platitudes, followed by an anecdote of some horrible thing which happened to a sympathetic character, which upon further inspection some time after the speech will be shown to be a complete fabrication.
Please do me a favor President Obama, since we both of us know that my analysis and clairvoyance are right on target here, don’t waste my time. Allow me to enjoy the unofficial holiday that is the start of the NFL season without your somber, and at the same time smug, mug appearing on my television. I have no problems with you campaigning to win reelection, that is your right as an American Citizen. I just do not see the reason for using a Joint Session of Congress to do it. We’ve heard this speech before, and quite frankly, we are all getting tired of seeing the Teleprompter of The United States of America. We have teleprompter fatigue, which by the way has not in the slightest fashion done a darned thing to distract us from our crummy economy fatigue.
