I saw this at iowahawk today, and I don’t believe that it could possibly be improved upon. It is the Hawk’s dire predictions of what will happen on August 3, 2011.
Beltway policy experts begin living by own wits; after 45 minutes there are no survivors.
Roving bands of outlaws stalk our streets, selling incandescent bulbs to vulnerable children.
Unregulated mohair prices at the whim of unscrupulous mohair speculators.
NPR news segments no longer buffered by soothing zither interludes.
Breadlines teeming with jobless Outreach Coordinators, Diversity Liaisons, and Sustainability Facilitators.
Cowboy poetry utterly lacking in metre.
General Motors unfairly forced to build cars that people want, for a profit.
Chaos reigns at Goldman Sachs, who no longer knows who to bribe with political donations.
Mankind’s dream of high speed government rail service between Chicago and Iowa City tragically dies.
Sesame Street descends into Mad Maxian anarchy; Oscar the Grouch fashions shivs out the letter J and the number 4
No longer protected by government warning labels, massive wave of amputations from people sticking limbs into lawn mowers
New York devolves into a dystopian hellscape of sugared cola moonshiners, salty snackhouses and tobacco dens.
At-risk Mexican drug lords forced to buy own machine guns.
Chevy Volt rebate checks bounce, stranded owners more than 50 miles from outlet.
WH communications office reduced to sending talking points to Media Matters via smoke signals and log drums.
Potential 5-year old terrorists head to boarding gates ungroped.
Defenseless mortgage holders forced to live in houses they can actually afford.
Without college loan program, America loses an entire generation of Marxist Dance Theorists.
Embarrassing state dinners, as Obamas are forced to downgrade from Wagyu to Kobe beef.
President Obama places tarp over Washington Monument to conceal from Chinese repo men.
With the Dept of Ed shuttered, national school quality plummets to 1960s levels.
Anthony Weiner is forced to pay for own sex addiction therapy.
Displaced teenaged policy wonks organize under Supreme Warlord Ezra Klein.
Nation’s freeway exits croweded with desperate bureaucrats waving ‘will regulate for food’ signs.
State Department diplomacy becomes 38% less diplomatic.
WH holds rummage sale Rose Garden; all HOPE merchandise, styrofoam Greek columns 95% off.
To a much broader point, this is a defacto balanced budget amendment. For those of you who posses an adult memory, we have faced a government shutdown before in this country. During every instance, the only people who were adversely affected were those working for the government, and those who’s job it was to report on the government. In the instance of the latter, this group actually benefited greatly. This is the very definition of uselessness, one where if you did not show up for your job, nobody would actually care, but yourself. I keep hearing the Democrats whining about how this is a breakdown of our checks and balances system, and this meme has actually caused me to projectile snort coffee at my computer monitor. The thought that by not allowing the President to just unilaterally assign himself unlimited spending authority, and in fact institute the checks and balances system of him obtaining the constitutionally mandated permission of the very body given control of the purse strings in Article I section 8 of the Constitution is at best perplexing. The left howled like jackasses when then Secretary of State Alexander Haig misquoted the 25th Amendment. Blowing the very definition of checks and balances is way worse. In any case, passing legislation by pimping a perceived Armageddon has been a hallmark of the Obama Administration. Do not be afraid of an inflicted balanced budget, it will be a good thing in the long run. As a matter of fact, If we allow this to continue until November of 2012, the American people will be absolutely amazed at how completely bloated and useless our ruling elites have become. The only downside, is that it will give Barack Obama heightened authority of how to allocate the remaining $2.5 Trillion
