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So You Want To Be A Villain?

by DJM ( 5 Comments › )
Filed under Humor at November 30th, 2008 - 8:50 am

Your one-stop source for all your villainy needs:

villainsource_logo_520

Everything you need to be a successful supervillain in today’s anti-terrorism climate! Not only does this site offer the very best in evil weaponry and secret lairs, it provides the most useful tips to set you on your way on your quest to take over the world!

Just look at this example of the great tips, compiled by some of the most evil masterminds of our time:

Helpful Tip: Make your mantrap escape-proof.

There are two kinds of traps; incarceration traps, and deathtraps. Whichever kind of trap you decide to employ against your do-gooder foe, be sure to follow the Cardinal Rule of Traps:

TRAPS SHOULD BE ESCAPE PROOF!

And just calling a trap ‘escape proof’ doesn’t cut the mustard. If your trap requires the presence of henchpersons to prevent escape, it is not escape-proof. If a trapped individual can foil the trap using a laser watch or a belt grapple, it is not escape proof. That’s why all my traps vaporize the hero instantly. Fuck ’em, I say — I’ll explain my evil schemes to my cat.

— Baron Devastation, The Brotherhood of Genetic Impurity

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