Over the years, the concept of love has been spun, twisted, leaned, and pruned into nothing more than a base emotion. The shame of this is that it leaves the human as nothing more than an animal responding to our emotions and base instincts, and ignoring our heads. A bi-product of this multi-year incremental destruction of our beings is the withering away of the man, and as a result the woman, the family, and ultimately society as a whole.
So, boys….grow up, show some love and BE A MAN!
Every few years, the media tells us new ideas about what a man should be. For a while there was “sensitive new age guy.” Then there was “metrosexual” and advice that men need to develop their feminine side.
I’ve heard married men advise younger men that the key to a happy marriage is: “Yes, dear.” [Nearly every television commercial] ridicule men, [and the actual programming are not much better.]
On television, we’ve gone from Father Knows Best, where the father was a wise caring man who could do no wrong, to Homer Simpson, a buffoon who can do nothing right. Does Homer actually influence what people think a man should be? In a recent survey in Canada by the research firm Ipsos-Reid, more than 25 percent of fathers aged 18 to 34 identify with Homer Simpson when they’re talking to their kids about a difficult subject, and almost 20 percent of adult children in the same age range associate their own father with Homer.
With so many confusing ideas, …wisdom on what a man should be in a relationship [has become increasingly necessary]. … [It is not surprising then that some of the best advice regarding what a man should be comes from Genesis] and Adam — the first man in the world who was in a relationship. Adam was alone. He wanted a wife. He asked God for a wife and God created Eve to be an “ezer k’negdo” — a helper opposing him or a helper against him (Genesis, 2:18).
A helper against him? What in the world does that mean? Simply, it means that …If a man works on himself and develops himself to be worthy, the woman will be his partner. If he doesn’t, she will be against him.
…
My search led me to discover a lot of timeless wisdom that for generations fathers taught their sons — wisdom that is so relevant today. Today’s absent father, either from long hours of work or divorce, means many boys grow up without a strong male role model.
Here are five … lessons… on what a man in a relationship should be:
Lesson #1: Take responsibility
… Don’t do things you know are wrong and then blame others. If you make a mistake, take responsibility for your actions. One of the meanings of the word “husband” is someone who skillfully manages his household. A manager takes responsibility. …A man has to look at himself and see how he can change his own actions to properly handle similar situations.
Lesson #2: Show leadership
If a man wants to be seen as worthy and have a good relationship with a woman, he has to show leadership. When he sees a situation that needs to be dealt with, he should step forward and handle it. People admire those who step forward to handle difficult situations. We don’t admire those who stand back and wait for others to solve the problem.
Some men avoid taking the lead because they don’t want to be criticized. They think they’re playing it safe. A man should say, “I’ll handle it,” and take the initiative to find solutions. If he’s not sure what the solution is, do what other leaders do — consult the many sources of information available.
Lesson #3: Make decisions
One of the meanings of the word “manly” is being decisive. A man needs to make decisions and take responsibility for the outcome. If he’s reluctant to make decisions, she may resent him. Part of making decisions is understanding the other person’s views and being flexible. She doesn’t want someone controlling her, but she also doesn’t want someone who leaves every decision to her. A man who is afraid of making a wrong decision should ask himself: Who should make decisions? — someone who isn’t afraid of making mistakes.
Lesson #4: Be strong
Who is strong? He who can control his passions (Ethics of the Fathers, 4:1). Someone who can control his anger is better than a physically strong man who can conquer a city. Blowing up in anger can seriously damage a relationship. If a man thinks he can’t control his anger, he should imagine being angry at someone, the telephone rings and it’s his boss. Would he calm down? Of course, or he’d lose his job. Not getting angry doesn’t mean he accepts bad treatment; he calmly sets limits on the treatment he accepts from others.
Lesson #5: Be manly
Being manly is not being macho. Manliness is the positive qualities of decisiveness, strength in one’s convictions, confidence, self-reliance, high moral qualities, self discipline, honesty and integrity. A man who is manly has courage to be able to deal with difficulty, pain or danger without backing away despite his fear…
Tags: Love, Manhood, Valentine's Day
