I got a pre-declined credit card offer in the mail.
African television stations are now showing ‘Sponsor an American Child’ commercials.
I ordered a burger at Wendy’s and the kid behind the counter asked, “Can you afford fries with that?”.
My ATM gave me an IOU.
I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.
I bought a toaster oven and got a bank as a free gift.
If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM and Chrysler.
McDonald’s is selling a 1/4 ouncer with cheese.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
My cousin had an exorcism but when she couldn’t afford to pay for it, they re-possessed her.
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
Motel Six won’t leave the light on for you anymore.
A picture is now only worth 100 words.
They renamed Wall Street “Wal-Mart” Street.
When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck or knew how to fly a plane.
President Obungler now has to play miniature golf
And finally…
The libs in Congress say they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!!! The guy who made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the same people who made $1.5 trillion disappear.
This is also an open thread to discuss anything your little ol’ heart desires!
