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Happy Holidays PERIOD from Loretta Sanchez

by Bunk Five Hawks X ( 7 Comments › )
Filed under Baseball, Military, Politics, Satire, Special Report at December 18th, 2014 - 12:05 am

The Missus is a registered Democrat out of respect to her deceased parents, but she’s a DINO. She likes it that way because it allows her to view the liberal propaganda sent via the US Postal Service that floods our mailbox prior to every election.

Because the Missus is a DINO, one of the benefits we receive is a yearly “Holiday Card” from Rep. Loretta Sanchez (D) even though we don’t live in her District. Each year Ms. Sanchez’ cards become more bizarre, and this one is one of the strangest.

2014 Loretta Sanchez Christmas Card

It’s bizarre enough that Ms. Sanchez and her relatively new hubby are standing up to their knees in a bog in the infield of Angels Stadium some local high school’s outfield, but it gets even stranger.

Pheew. Stinky Stinky.

Pheew. Stinky Stinky.

I mean, look at that face. Really look. She’s a rabid gerbil ready to chew off your genitalia, no matter what sex you choose to be, sneering at you because you remind her of her ex-husband Stephen Brixey (who apparently divorced her once he found out she was screwing around with a retired military corporal who was also married at the time according to this account).

It also appears that she’s dropped some pounds (maybe 25?) since I saw her live at a Tet Parade where she pranced down the street in a gaudy silk fluorescent muumuu pretending to be Vietnamese. She was an embarrassing bouncy dough-ball to every person with even 1/16 latino heritage.

Corporal John “Jack” Einwechter is a lobbyist/activist/retired military lawyer, and never played for the Angels, let alone professional baseball as far as I can tell. But he, like Loretta Sanchez, apparently has a penchant for infidelity, and he gets to wake up to that unadorned face every morning.

2014 Loretta Sanchez Christmas Card 2

The background image on the left is screened, and it showa Ms. Sanchez in stilettos as if she’s just hit a home run in front of an empty stadium. She adds “Happy Holidays PERIOD.”  She likes her cat, too. There’s a pitcher/catcher joke somewhere in there, but I’m not gonna do it. I’m going for the back flap.

2014 Loretta Sanchez Christmas Card 3

It took a photographer, a hair dresser and two makeup artists just to produce that awesome face for a lame Christmas card about baseball.

Kudos, Loretta. You’ve proved yourself to be a complete ditz.

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We're not easily offended and don't want people to think they have to walk on eggshells around here (like at another place that shall remain nameless) but of course, there is a limit to everything.

Play nice!

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