Okay, cut me some slack. The only other way I can wrangle politics into the title of a column published on the day of the Great American Race would be to mention the National Anthem, and frankly I’m a little “Oh say I can’t see” at this juncture.
The Good (Daytona 500):
Today marks the OFFICIAL start of the NASCAR racing season, with the running of Dayton 500 LXI (Pfffft NFL! We can do it too). It’s amazing that unlike every other sport on the planet, stock car racing BEGINS with the premier event, and everyone gets a chance to compete through qualifying runs. If you ain’t in it, it’s on you and you didn’t press the pedal on the right correctly. I hope it’s a good race. I don’t need a repeat of the year Dale Earnhardt died or the year a sinkhole caved in 8 feet of the track or the year that it took 9 hours to complete because of rain. I want sunny skies, safe drivers and a track with structural integrity.
Thank goodness Fox has the race this year. For those unfamiliar with the dipso duo broadcasting that is NASCAR, the season is divided in half – the first half, through the road course at Sears Point in late June, is broadcast by Fox; the second half, starting with (usually; they keep mixing races around) Second Daytona through the final race at Homestead, is broadcast by NBC. However, because the Daytona 500 is the Crown Jewel and by the end of the season everyone has stopped even CARING who wins the championship at Homestead, Fox and NBC alternate the 500 broadcast (in years it goes to NBC, Fox then broadcasts Second Daytona).
While NBC has improved its coverage over the years, I’ve never been a great fan of it. It’s almost as if they were embarrassed that they had to get their visas to travel down to redneck country. I do give them credit for snagging Dale Earnhardt Jr. for the booth – he’s infinitely better than Fox’s prize – Jeff Gordon (who is – sorry, homeboy – AWFUL). Note to Fox. Retire Jeff and Dale Waltrip – put in Carl Edwards and Tony Stewart).
The Lion
Donald Trump has had a most excellent two weeks. He knocked it out of the park with the State of the Union, and the GOP got plenty of marvelous footage of Democrats sitting on their hands while he talked about the best economic news in a decade, decried the abortion laws of New York and pressed for better border security and … the WALL. Overwhelming approval of the speech, especially from independents. He gave the Democrats an opportunity to sit down and do the right thing. Instead, a 1500 page spending bill hit the tables, which, like the ACA, no one has read but will vote on it. And the Republicans in the Senate, who we thought had developed a spine (Grassley, et al.) after Kavanaugh and prior to the election, caved like a deflated football. Oh, they gave him money for a border wall – 55 feet and so many damned restrictions attached that even chicken wire would probably have breached the terms.
But the President will not be cornered and on Friday declared a national emergency, which really pissed every Democrat off. Personally, I think he’s had that money squirreled away all along. And I think the supplies are in a nice warehouse or arriving by ship. And now that he’s declared his emergency and all the focus will be on the courts and grandstanding by the Dim-o-crats, no one will be paying any attention to what’s going on down there. If the courts side with the Dims, fine and good. Except the Wall will be built anyway since the money was already allocated elsewhere.
Meanwhile, he’s now got just about every prominent Democrat on record as saying there should be no border restrictions or increased security. On tape. On video. And that’s going to be hard to combat in 2020, especially when Trump will be working working and will reveal, no doubt, “YUGE” sections of Wall that were built and the statistics showing reduction in crime, in crossings, in drugs and human trafficking. Shake your head about that again, Horizontal Harris…
The Witch
Nancy Pelosi? Of course it is. Any doubt? I just wanted to take this opportunity to give present her with her lifetime achievement award. Walls are immoral. Walls are wrong. We care about these poor people more then the safety of American citizens. Nancy, you aren’t going to be able to harvest enough votes to keep those seats you mysteriously won in California come 2020.
And you know, I have to say, I am really rather disappointed in my compatriot conservative Game of Thrones fans. One of the major plotlines in the book series involves the huge ice WALL that keeps out the Night King and his zombie minions in the north and away from the good people in Westoros. At the end of last season, the evil Night King and his Zombie dragon destroyed the wall and the evil minions were going to be pouring in to destroy the country. If that isn’t fodder for a good parody video or a T-shirt line I don’t know what is. Featuring Nancy Pelosi as the king of the Zombies and Chuck Schumer as the Dragon.
And of course, this is your open thread for Sunday. After hearing that a Congressman on Wednesday did a comparison of AOC to the Fyre Festival, if that Game of Throne thing pops up, I just want you to remember, you read it here first. And damn me for not learning how to Photoshop.
