“Two young Kiwis have put New Zealand on the world map by gaining a Guinness World Record for the world’s largest tape ball. The record tape ball weighs a staggering 53kgs and has a circumference of more than 2.5 metres.”

Even though “Mr. Tape Ball” weighs about 117 pounds, he won’t sit in a car seat and won’t “buckle-up.” Mr. TB has an attitude that I don’t like. Mr. TB doesn’t rock. He rolls, and if I had to stop suddenly, I wouldn’t want his 117 pounds of attitude jamming my temporal, parietal and occipital lobes out through my nose. In other words, don’t expect a ride from me, Mr. TB. I’ll give you a push in a downhill direction, but that’s it.

[Good God. I’ve lost it. I’m talking to a ball of Kiwi tape that I met on the internet, in the back seat of a car that I don’t own.]
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Originally posted here, but reposted for the African-American Friday Overnight Open Thread.