[Originally posted a long time ago here.]

FACT: Three-year-old boys know how to cuss by the time they are two; it just takes them another twelve months to polish it and get it right.

Cussing generally improves with age, but it gets significantly less creative after the age of 12 or so, when it becomes limited to words starting with f and s. The following is a dad’s description of a true story (from The Sneeze), and the re-enactment is a YouTube classic:

My three-year-old has decided that “Pickles” is a curse word. It basically means “a**hole.” Or possibly, “You d**k.”

Here is an actual exchange from the other morning:

Me: Please put your pants on.
Him: Fine, Pickles.

He says it right to my face, with complete disgust.

To better illustrate the scene for you, I’ve asked the guy who played Ricky in “Better Off Dead” to provide a re-enactment using his professional acting skills. Please enjoy.

If anyone here doesn’t appreciate the wonderful absurdity of an adult acting out the storyline insult of a three-year-old, then you’re a pooty-face times infinity plus one on The Overnight Open Thread.