The bad news is that ORANGE is NOT her color.

It’s official folks. Hillary Clinton has lost her cotton-pickin’ mind.

She has spent the last three years stepping on the rake of utter failure time after time. For instance, I’m pretty sure we’re up to 1,576 reasons why she lost the election. Versions 1 through 1,574 involve some sort of Russian permutation; 1,575 is that Obama didn’t do enough for her on the campaign trail; 1,576 is that White Women voted for Trump at the direction of their Neanderthal husbands (although upon hearing that, both Flyboy and Football Savant Offspring started laughing so hard I thought medical intervention was going to be required).

Of course, it hasn’t helped that she’s had to witness the Clinton Foundation and Grift Institute take a wallop in the donation department post-November 10th. Suddenly the Queen of Demean, her husband Wee Willie and daughter no longer had that yum-yum foreign cash (t/m Alex Marlowe) stuffing their coffers. I imagine there was a slew of foreign dignitaries that had to go home and face the wife and tell her that the White House Marriott had cancelled their reservation for the Lincoln Bedroom. In fact, there is rumor that many of those that made sizable donations were asking for them back.  I guess there was more than one meaning to those words “Clinton Global Initiative.”  We just had no idea it the initiative was for the Globe to give and the Clintons to take, and not the other way around.  The people of Haiti had a front-row seat to that one.

And then she and the spouse, witnessing the tremendous response to the bad Orange Man at stadiums and arenas across the country, and realizing that the DNC pretty much refusing to prop up the sales of yet another Hillary work of fiction posing as a memoir, decided it was time to allow themselves an opportunity to bask in the love and affection – and most of all CASH – of all those non-Deplorables that no doubt would pay top dollar for an opportunity to breathe the rarified air of the King and Queen of the Prom.  A 9-stadium tour was scheduled, “An Evening With the Clintons” – and the hot ticket was priced at $1700 – that probably also got you an 8 x 10 glossy as well.  Personally autographed, mind you – not autopenned.  It probably came as a real shock to them when ticket sales were not just anemic – they were on life support.  The first 15,000 seat venue was barely 10% full; even with the tour rebooked into smaller venues, the house had to be papered and tickets were down to $2 each and no 8 x 10 glossy.  Eventually the Clintons caught on.  Tour cancelled.

But even then Hillary would not shot up.  She continued her tale of woe and election highway robbery of an election stolen from her by evil Russia to any venue that would feature her.  At this point, it was primarily Twitter (because she really was NOT the ratings draw she once was).  When the Mueller Report exonerated Donald Trump she had to be furious.  After all, the investigation team was comprised almost entirely of her supporters; how the Hades did THAT happen?  I mean the ball was all tee’d up.  People were indicted.  People went to JAIL.  The media was onboard.  Of course, now that nothing was found, the question became “Why was the investigation pushed in the first place?”  When the rocks are finally overturned on that one, this isn’t going to end well for her either.  It is going to be interesting to learn why a woman who had primaries rigged for her and who was 91% predicted to win an election still felt it necessary to jimmy up evidence against her rival.  But that is Hillary.  She cannot and will to leave well sough alone.  You escaped an espionage and obstruction of justice charge.  Geez Louise lady, go bounce the grandkids and lick your wounds.

But she can’t. It’s not in her DNA.  She is ow making noises that many think are signs that she either plans to get into the Presidential race herself or is expecting a call from the DNC begging her to save them by declaring.  But three years have NOT made her more popular with the American people.  But Friday’s appearance on David Plouffe’s podcast may have finally pushed that pocket of America that still regarded with SOME understanding for you as a somewhat understandable sore loser.  She openly declares that Tulsi Gabbard, candidate and former member of the U.S. Armed Forcces, is a tool of the Russian Government and will run as a third-party.  She also declared that former candidate Jill Stein, she of the ever-increasing recount budget, was in fact a Russian Agent.  You could almost HEAR the jaws unhinging and dropping at that one.   Tulsi’s response was a bullseye if a little over the top:

•  You, the queen of warmongers, embodiment of corruption, and personification of the rot that has sickened the Democratic Party for so long, have finally come out from behind the curtain. From the day I announced my candidacy, there has been a concerted campaign to destroy my reputation. We wondered who was behind it and why. Now we know — it was always you, through your proxies and powerful allies in the corporate media and war machine, afraid of the threat I pose.  It’s now clear that this primary is between you and me. Don’t cowardly hide behind your proxies. Join the race directly.

The fact that this happened on the same day that the State Department announced that she and her minions had committed over 600 security violations didn’t help.  But once again, she’s out there crying about hacked elections.  Never mind that voting machines are NOT hooked up to the internet; never mind that they’re nothing more than sooped up calculators.  Now she’s concerned 10-year-olds are going to destroy the country by keeping Democrats from winning elections.  Ooooookay.

Granny Cankles needs a reservation at Happy Acres and soon. Hopefully the Padded Suite is available and Nurse Ratched has the dream juice all syringed up.