[Above: Bob Crotchit and Jack Asbeiter in the WLGF broadcasting booth]

A bazillion outs and nobody on, eh Bob? Whatta buncha losers…  Reminds me of our broadcasting career. Heh. Heck, Bob, you remember when the Chinese chicks showed up and… WHOA! I didn’t realize the mic was on already. Coulda been worse, like the time you caught me effing about the roaches in the first booth we shared together… a split second later we were back live.  Man, that place was nasty.  Back to you, Bob.

That’s a fact, Jack! Seems like it’s been only months since our first broadcast, and we’ve retrieved a grainy analog recording from the WLGF archives. Brings back memories, eh, Jack? (Hey, what’s that on your tie? Heh. Got yer nose, Jack!) Well, enough jawboning. Let’s roll the clip. Enjoy the show, folks.

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EPISODE 1: Gravitational Anomaly

September 11, 2010

[Show already in progress]

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Back to the OT pic. Look above.

Play by play.

And what is this? It’s Foster…no, oh yes. Foster moves to save his blog bowl. Teetering on north paws he rises and flips, backwards. And he’s in the….NO, the blog bowl falls off the pedestal, his back flip fails and, oh the humanity, the blog bowl falls as he heads south with a failed single lindy.

OK… the scores are coming….ok….here they are. Foster the Cat scores a 1.0.

Back to you Jack.

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Wow. Looks like a complete aberration, Bob. No style, no class. I’ve never seen anything like it. Heh. On the other hand, his contract’s up this year, and he might be a good pick for the Kos team. Whattya think? Think he’s gotta chance? Huffpo’s been talking about recruits, too. Back to you, Bob.

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Well Jack, I have to say the whole performance was a failure- a 1.0 score?, And with his new trainers and all and what I saw, well… he jumped to the Right early on and then…did you see it, he bounded to the Left and went into his flip as the blog bowl fell to the Left off his very own pedestal. It was a tragic fall, and he may not recover to go onto the neighborhood finals.

What do you think Jack?

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I don’t think team KOS are interested in a free agent that, Jack. And for the Huffpo franchise one like that fat cat, the chance for picking his fat contract are really slim.

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In my opinion this isn’t rocket surgery, Bob, and the crowd knows it. They’re hollering for his ejection from the game. He’s stumbling towards the center… oh wait, here comes Geller on the right! Wow! Did you see that hit? Absolute perfection! Bob, what’s your take on this relative newcomer?

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It is far from rocket science Jack, and Geller, though a newcomer, is no Sally come lately. Foster has to come with a new game plan bereft of locker room slurs to beat the best in a field he lags in. It will be interesting how he backs-flips in the finals. Geller is on her game, and for Foster, who has lost in the prelims, has a mountain to climb out the hole he has dug with that last performance. And now back to Jack.

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Hehe– I think you meant “brain science,” Bob! Anyway, it looks to me like tonight’s match is wrapped up, and Foster’s Big Hole is still digging in for the long haul. It’s still too early in the season to predict outcomes, but so far it doesn’t look good for Big Green. Before we go to a commercial break, any last words, Bob?

Bob? You still there? Guess your mike was cut off. What’s that gesture mean? What? Oh, hahaha! Pee break I get it! We’ll, haha, be, heh, back after the half. Stay tuned.

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Well, since we’re in a commercial break now, maybe this will help:

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It’s a fact Jack, and not just a rumor that Foster is washed up in this competition. Look at the stats, and I don’t just mean his fail with just tonight’s LOLcat local meet. His fall off his own podium gives the others hope and change in the competition. And now a word from our sponsors brought to you by LGF, Vagisal, a needy thing when you entered at a bad time. Goodnight, Bob and Jack off.

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END EPISODE 1