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Posts Tagged ‘Christmas Shopping’

Only 3 More Shopping Nights on The Overnight Open Thread

by Bunk Five Hawks X ( 28 Comments › )
Filed under Open thread at December 21st, 2016 - 10:00 pm

Okay, so I dislike going to places with big crowds, despise shopping at malls for presents, and although I’m not a Scrooge, places like that annoy me. I’m also a procrastinator, so Amazon is no help this late in the game. Yesterday I discovered something that reduced the annoyance somewhat.

Put some shiny Vaseline under your eyes and nose (red food coloring is optional) and once you see a crowd you need to pass through, start up a loud hacking cough, and suddenly you’ve transformed into Contagious Moses and the seas of all humanity will part. Spitting out a few mangled body parts of green Gummi Bears might add to the effect, but I didn’t go that far. This mildly unethical tactic allowed me to get in, purchase a steam iron, apron and new oven mitts for The Missus, and get out of the virus-laden crowd within 30 minutes. (Now all I have to do is remember where my hardhat is and make sure I wear it on Christmas day.)

Holiday stress relief is an art form, as is this edition of
The Overnight Open Thread.

Three Christmas Presents (for someone)

by Bunk Five Hawks X ( 37 Comments › )
Filed under Humor, Music, OOT, Open thread at December 18th, 2012 - 11:00 pm

Crispness is clumping, the geezer’s getting fat, and this is an excellent way to cover three deserving peeps. Iā€™d love to see her gift list – I just hope they fit.
The picture reminds me of a classic Steve Goodman song cowritten with Shel Silverstein: ā€œ3-Legged Man.ā€

Although breasts are nice, I prefer a couple of thighs on
The Overnight Open Thread.