I would call this a prediction come true, except it wasn’t exactly born of psychic ability. Not believing at all in psychic ability, I must also state that it did not even involve a trick of any sort. All it took to see through this bit of attempted chicanery was the smallest bit of high school statistical analysis taught as a part of my pre calculus junior year math curricula. In other words, about 2 seconds of thought, and I could tell that all players involved were lying.
For the record, here’s exactly what I said about the July 20th announcement that in fact, 19 IRS computers had been the inanimate victims of some bizarre hard drive super bug that seemed intent upon targeting IRS computers, (strange, given the fact that the IRS has forced all of America to live as borderline hoarders,) thus erasing all incriminating emails.
For those of you keeping score at home, this now raises the odds against to an astounding 1 in 10^57. We’re talking about a number so large, it actually eclipses the number of stars in the known Universe, all of it. Yet, equally as astounding, this has received no credible coverage on the alphabet media circuit. Thank goodness for outlets like the Daily Caller to actually report on this stuff.
Let me add something here. With a failure rate of 3.5% per year, per computer, the odds of any specific drive failing during a specific week, are 1 in 1000. The analysis of the odds used are the result of a simple calculation based on the manufacturer’s published parameters. For each computer added, the exponent increases by one. So, when the second specific computer needed went down at the precise moment it was needed, the odds of those two melting down in the manner described by Congressional testimony became 1 in 1000 squared. That’s how we get to where we are, with 19 computers, that’s 1000 raised to the Nineteenth power, enjoy!
I’m positive that on tonight’s or tomorrow’s episode of, “The Five,” either Bob Beckel or Juan Williams will repeat that tired old mantra, “there’s no evidence of any wrongdoing here, computers crash and that doesn’t mean they’re hiding anything.” Talk about a statement that makes me want to literally jump through my television and choke somebody. What more do any of us need.
To put the number 1 followed by 57 zeros in perspective, I’m going to propose the following thought experiment. Let’s pretend, just for the moment, that you have a super dexterous tongue. Your tongue, and jawbone for that matter are capable of counting digits at the same rate that subatomic particles vibrate, which would be 10^20 digits per second. putting aside for the moment the happiness extended to your spouse or significant other, let us further pretend that you’ve been counting since the proverbial big bang, some 20 Billion years ago. No breaks or vacations, no meals, and no sleeping, only counting has filled your time. You still, as of today would not have reached a number as large as 10^57. In fact, you would need to replicate your effort to date another 317 Quintillion times in order to reach your target. (If you wish to see this expressed in exponential form, it is 3.17 x 10^20.) Those are the odds that the IRS has claimed happened in a completely random manner.
That analysis, for any still awake at this point was merely my way of calling Bullshit. It is not possible that those emails disappeared, nor even that they do not exist somewhere, and could in fact be easily found, once actually looked for. So, take a wild guess at what the next revelation happened to be.
A Department of Justice attorney told a Judicial Watch attorney on Friday that it turns out the federal government backs up all computer records in case something terrible happens in Washington and there’s a catastrophe, so the government can continue operating. And they say it would be too hard to go get Lois Lerner’s emails from that backup system.
So everything we’ve been hearing about scratched hard drives…it’s all been a pack of malarkey. They could get these records, but they don’t want to.
And there’s no such thing as Lois Lerner’s missing emails. It’s all been a big lie. They’ve been lying to the courts, to the American people, to Congress. It’s outrageous.
You guessed it, an IRS attorney has admitted that yes, they’ve had all of the emails in question all along, but just didn’t want to let anybody see them. It’s hard to put my thoughts into words at this point. But what the hell, I’ll have a shot or two of whiskey and give it a try.
Crooked comes to mind, as in, “jeesh, these guys make Richard Nixon at his dirtiest peak look like a darned baby piker.” Richard Nixon did shop the idea of using the IRS to target political adversaries, but to their credit, even his closest allies refused to go along with that particular bad idea. He in fact never actually followed through on that threat. The furthest it ever got was a stressed out Alexander Haig putting a drunken soon to be ex-President to bed as he rambled on about using the various levers of power to protect himself. Just the mention of it however was listed as Count Number Two of the Four Counts included in his Articles of Impeachment. Lois Lerner has already admitted to Felonious behavior while serving in her current job at the IRS, specifically, opening the private postage stamped envelope of a sitting U.S. Senator, who also happened to be a private recipient of correspondence sent via US Mail. So, whether or not Lois Lerner engaged herself in criminal activity while heading up her own private fiefdom within the Federal Behemoth is no longer a question. The only question is whether this frequent White House guest participated in other dastardly deeds. The whole, “dog ate my homework,” schtick tells me that the answer to that question is most certainly yes. In any case, the now verifiable fact that Lois Lerner did indeed commit a felony while at her desk provides at the very least probable cause to do some further digging. Even the dullest federal cop would have to be scratching his head by now saying, “gee, maybe we should take a peek about the place.”
Lost in all of this however is the real frustration that we all feel. I know that I personally could find a way to retrieve those emails, along with about 275 Million out of the 316 Million people who make up the citizenry of this nation. It’s simply a matter of going in and printing the darned things off, after a minimal amount of time spent in electronic retrieval. This is not some remotely difficult endeavor requiring a Hal-9000 computer and requisite genius to write a brand new never even conceived of computer program. It is a simple task, that for some reason, even when demanded by Congress and two Federal Judges, finds itself not even attempted. Were this you or I, men wearing blue blazers, Foster Grant Sunglasses, and driving beige Ford Sedans would have long ago burst through our front doors and removed every electronic device, piece of paper, and kids toy with a microchip in search of documents both real and imagined.
And yet, despite the plainly obvious fact that those emails are there, where they’ve always been, combined with the fact that just about anyone who’s ever turned on a device of their own and spent hours on the phone with somebody’s help desk due to an errant click deleting something vital, knows exactly what kinds of steps are possible to retrieve those emails. Yet, the completely politicized Department of Justice refuses to life a finger. Our President has declared that not a smidgen of evidence exists to suggest that anything untoward has taken place, (after by the way he declared that no one was angrier than he at the transgression and that he would get to the bottom of things at the IRS,) and the various Federal Judges refuse to issue an order allowing Americans to just go in and retrieve the emails that we all know exist.
The NSA knows what variety of hibiscus happen to be imprinted upon my daily selection of boxer shorts, yet, retrieval of these emails emanating from the single most abusive lever of government power seems to remain a mystery. And they call themselves a spy agency. I say we employ a contingency of 12 surfing bums from San Diego to go in there and switch the electronic equipment in question on. I’m certain that they could retrieve the documents in question, and it’ll cost a hell of a lot less than the Bazillions that will eventually be charged to the American People in some future government invoice.
