WASHINGTON DC, October 6 (Eliana News) – President Barack Obama’s Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel resigned from his job at the White House last week after a controversial 20 months at his post.

Eliana News has an exclusive report on Rahm Emanuel’s exit interview:

Barry: Hello, Rahm.

Rahm: Your Majesty…

Barry: You really don’t need to address me like that anymore.

Rahm: It could still happen – you never know.

[Both men sigh wistfully.]

Barry: Ok Rahm, please explain why you’re leaving your job at the White House.

Rahm: The rumblings about tar and featherings.

Barry: Come on Rahm, you know the Israelis weren’t serious about that.

Rahm: I meant from the U.S. House of Representatives.

Barry: Oh. A few too many towel snaps in the Congressional gym, eh?

Rahm: &%^$#@*%.

Barry: …AND way too many swearwords.

Rahm: &%^$#@*%.

[Barry takes notes]

Barry: I got that one.

Rahm: I don’t see why they cared about my swearing. #(*@&^$.

Barry: Well, things got bitter when the House Majority Leader had to put his parrot down after having you over for dinner.

Rahm: He was a nice parrot. So smart, too. Live and learn. #@*$^%#.

Barry: Yeah, he learned that word in particular and couldn’t stop saying it.

[Both men sigh again.]

Barry: Ok, Rahm. What would you say was the most valuable skill you used in your job here?

Rahm: Stirring up @*$^.

Barry: You did do that well. Anything else?

Rahm: Stirring up more @*$^.

Barry: Ok. I think this covers a lot of ground. Any parting words?

Rahm: I think the ^@%@*$ and the %#(@&%% should go $*@& themselves.

Barry: Ok, I think this wraps things up. Good luck in Chicago!