Q: How does an elephant hide in a cherry tree?
A: It paints its toenails red. Duh.
Q: How does the elephant get up in the tree to begin with?
A: Go ask Hermann Reiche. Doi.
“In 1891, Hermann Reiche patented a platform “to enable an elephant to climb up a tree.”
I bet he made tens of dollars with this patent, tree branch butts mortised and lag-bolted into a tree stump. Wish I’d thought of it first. What a guy. Just the kind of guy who would fit right in on an Overnight Open Thread.
Your Town, This Planet (Strutts News Services) –
No, we’re not talking about punk or rap music here. Rock Snot is real. Be afraid.
From CSM: “In the late 1980s, a freshwater alga began mysteriously blooming in the rivers of Vancouver, British Columbia, covering once-pristine riverbeds with a thick, woolly mat. Dubbed “rock snot” for its yellowish color and globular form…”
From AP via MSNBC: “It looks like a clump of soiled sheep’s wool, a cottony green or white mass that’s turning up on rocks and river bottoms, snarling waterways.”
From SNS: “Janessa Vapors, a nineteenth-grader at the Institute for Apocalyptic Studies at the University of Social Engineering, Placerville, California states, ‘Global Warming is not the problem, but Rock Snot is a real threat. We’ve got to find a way to harvest it and process it into food. Theoretically, if everyone on this planet ate a pound of it a day, the equivalent of 10,337 cars would be taken off the road; I’ve run the numbers. We’ve got to start now to solve this crisis, but we need more government funding.'”
If you want to keep Rock Snot from proliferating, quit messing with it and eat it. I don’t know about you, but I’m already packing to leave before it gets me, just in case, and I suggest you do the same, but only after tonight’s Overnight Open Thread.
This will be weekly, every Saturday after the lecture is the open NCAA thread for those of us watching football and not wanting to soil the respectable threads with cries of ‘Hook ’em Horns’ or ‘Soooeeeee Piggie!’ and we sure don’t want to run Ralphie through a serious thread! Some of our writers would get really mad. This will be a stickie at the top of the page, its football and open, please see the ‘normal’ yet excellent threads below; get crazy and open two tabs!
Welcome to Week 3 of the 2010 NCAA Football season!
**NOTE to the ‘sports journalists’: that ‘NEW’ offense that yinz call ‘The Pistol’ is the ‘i’ formation from 30 years ago, and oh, and the ‘Wildcat’ is actually ‘the wing’ and its derivatives from the paleolithic era of football. I guess the next ‘new’ thing on offense is gonna be I M Hipp (Texas A&M) and Tony Dorsett (PITT, his name was pronounced ‘door sit’ before he made $$$) style backs wearing ‘tear away’ jerseys cut off at the mid riff. Put a full-back in that ‘pistol’ and you have a real i formation.**
Thursday’s Cincinati Bearcats at NC State Wolfpack was a very sloppy game. Cincinnati is desperately missing their old football coach, Brian Kelly, who took his dream job an Notre Dame. Cincinnati looked, well, discombobulated. Coach Kelly has the Irish at 1-1 with a close loss at home to Michigan in the Big House. Coach Krelly has a chance to get on the winning side when the Irish travel to Michigan State (2-0) to play the Spartans in Prime Time (2000 eastern on ABC) this should be a game to watch on the PiP. MSU’s secondary will be tested, they have been identified as the weak link.
On Thursday, Reggie Bush gave back the Heisman trophy he won in 2005…he says its not an admission of guilt. Yeah, OK Reggie…you spin ALMOST as good as James Carville, but not quite.
The most interesting noon game, the (12) Arkansas Razorbacks travel to Athens Georgia, home of REM and the B-52’s to play the Georgia Bulldogs. This classic SEC battle has a little back story: the Razorbacks haven’t won in Athens since 2003 and are riding a 6 game losing streak against the Bulldogs (Vegas is giving the Bulldogs 3.5…).
The Best Team in the Country, (1) Alabama gets their big star running back Mark Igram back from knee surgery; just in time to play the Duke Blue Devils, and too bad for Duke, this isn’t basketball (1530 ABC).
The (6) Texas Longhorns have to travel to Lubbock to play the Texas Tech Red Raiders (2000 ABC). Tech is an insane place to play, Texas Coach Mack Brown is 3-3 in Lubbock. Tech is a smaller venue (60K+) but it is insane loud and the wind is unpredictable. Vegas is only giving Tech 3 points against Texas…could be an upset watch!
The 2230 Eastern (9) Iowa Hawkeyes at the (24) Arizona Wildcats should be a battle in the trenches worth watching. The Wildcats have a good offensive line; they get to play against the best defensive line in the country. The Iowa defensive line will be playing on Sundays, so get an eye-full on ESPN.
So what games are you watching? BBQing anything? Its an open sports thread!
The Diary of Daedalus
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