Your Town, This Planet (Strutts News Services) –
No, we’re not talking about punk or rap music here. Rock Snot is real. Be afraid.


From CSM: “In the late 1980s, a freshwater alga began mysteriously blooming in the rivers of Vancouver, British Columbia, covering once-pristine riverbeds with a thick, woolly mat. Dubbed “rock snot” for its yellowish color and globular form…”

From AP via MSNBC: “It looks like a clump of soiled sheep’s wool, a cottony green or white mass that’s turning up on rocks and river bottoms, snarling waterways.”

From SNS: “Janessa Vapors, a nineteenth-grader at the Institute for Apocalyptic Studies at the University of Social Engineering, Placerville, California states, ‘Global Warming is not the problem, but Rock Snot is a real threat. We’ve got to find a way to harvest it and process it into food. Theoretically, if everyone on this planet ate a pound of it a day, the equivalent of 10,337 cars would be taken off the road; I’ve run the numbers. We’ve got to start now to solve this crisis, but we need more government funding.'”

If you want to keep Rock Snot from proliferating, quit messing with it and eat it. I don’t know about you, but I’m already packing to leave before it gets me, just in case, and I suggest you do the same, but only after tonight’s Overnight Open Thread.