Today, I swapped out the large NG gas space heater in the bar with a new IR version. HOLY CRAP!!! too many BTU’s on high setting, i can make stainless steel! this hardware is needed in the bar because of the topography and design of the house. At the front door, the roof is 2 stories up, at the back, 4 stories. the back half of the ‘basement'(bar) is above ground and opens to a large set of decks, all this points west into the Ohio river valley. The next highest point is somewhere around Lobo. The bar (so called basement) area has lots of glass for the view. We also get relentless wind (COLD from the NW and NNW). the highest point gets the most wind. that space just gets cold and then the rest of the house is ‘chilly’ if the space heater in the bar isnt regulating.

so, i unhooked the old heater, cleaned all the fittings for the gas line, took the trap and valve down to the local plumbing joint and explained what i needed. you see, the back of the box for the new heater says this, and i quote: “Requires 3/8″ female receptacle” that seemed odd as a junction for a gas appliance because usually a male end on the incoming gas line is used on flex pipe to screw into the female end of a space heater, or a stove… i even showed the old guy at the counter the pic of the back of the box. you see, i didnt want to open the box until i knew that all the gas fittings were fitted safely, and i didnt want to lose any parts. if the gas fittings weren’t leak-proofed, i would shut off the gas, call my neighbor / contactor and i’ll cook bbq for him and his family whilst he fixes my fuck-ups. however, i was air-tight with no leaks all the way out to the last shutoff valve. i can do some basic stuff, but i get very detail-oriented on gas lines.

so, easy, right? hook up the line to the heater. time to open the box that contains the blast furnace from J&L’s Aliquippa works….well, whaddya know. there is a 3/8″ female gas line receptacle to screw the last MALE fitting of the gas line into. Ummmhmmm….box sez requires female end for the gas line, but, the hardware is clearly female, requiring a male end. so, i took the last bit of flex hose back to the old guy behind the counter and told him that, indeed, there is a female fitting for gas line attachment. the outer box was a liar. he nodded the ‘old guy plumber nod’, and went and got the proper male fitting for the end of the flex line. he then said, “this must be one of those new god-damned transvestite heaters…” (in perfect pittsburghese).

i damned near passed out laughing. the two contractors in the joint were apoplectic. his delivery was so dead-pan perfect. i think, tho, the chinese manufacturer of this heater did this typo on purpose to make fun of us, and so they should.