Eye carumba, I give up. The vanity of hollywood never fails to astonish, but this has got to be a new one.

Film director James Cameron said he hopes he can bring together some of the top experts in deep-sea work to help craft a solution to the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

The director of “Avatar” and “Titanic” said he was moved to action after days of watching the oil well spew uncontrollably and successive attempts to cap it failed.

Excuse me while I pick my jaw up off the floor. As bad as the government as flubbed this, and as bad as BP has hosed it, we’re going to have a film producer, someone who’s stock-in-trade is unreality is going to show them how it’s done.

“I was watching with growing horror thinking, ‘Those morons don’t know what they’re doing,’” said Cameron, speaking at the All Things Digital conference Wednesday evening.

Cuz it’s not how it was shown in your movie?

His work on the film “Titanic,” he said, gave him exposure to some of the world’s top experts who work in deep-sea environments. That started him thinking that those trying to stop the oil flow didn’t have the right skill set.

“Wait a minute,” he said, “I know a lot of people who work in deep submergence … They know the engineering that’s required to work at that depth.”

I thought so. Un-fooking-believable.

He contacted the Environmental Protection Agency about his plan. “I thought let’s get all the people I know together for a brainstorming session,” he said.

The EPA hosted the meeting, held recently in Washington, D.C., which brought together a group of 23 experts.

That in itself is curious; if you or I tried to contact the EPA, would we get that kind of audience?

He contacted the federal government after having initially tried to involve BP. His initial overtures to BP didn’t go far, he said.

“BP said, ‘We’ve got the assets on site that we need,’” Cameron said.

No shit. Don’t call us, we’ll call you. You don’t have a spare nuclear sub do you?