“Hey, mates, have a look! He’s got his pecker on the wrong end!”

Cats are imbeciles. Starting with Krazy Kat who was in love with Ignatz, a brickbat-throwing mouse, through the idiocy of Garfield, there are very few felines that deserve much more than a ride in the dryer.

Think about it. Sure Felix was cool, but only in a surreal drug-induced kinda way.  I mean, that cat could morph. Heathcliff is just plain stoopid, and is as unfunny as Marmaduke. Garfield’s a dick, and Mufasa & Simba don’t count for obvious reasons. Topcat? Forget it. I won’t even link.

To be fair, there are some cats who were very cool. Sylvester was cool, but only when he was messing with Chester the dog. Hobbes was very cool, but only as a stuffed animal whose life existed in his owner’s head, just like Tigger.

And just so I don’t alienate a certain blogger here, Fritz the Cat was pretty damn awesome for his time, as were ALL the cats drawn by Kliban.

Darby Conley’s “Get Fuzzy” is an entirely different story.

Bucky Katt gets my vote for being the coolest cat ever, constantly tormenting his owner Rob (a vegetarian liberal) and Satchel, a mixed breed dog who’s kinda like Mongo in Blazing Saddles. Bucky’s not entirely sane either, but he’s got an edge, an angle on the politics of the apartment, as twisted as it is.

And with that, let’s all have a tasty slice of an Overnight Open Thread.