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Posts Tagged ‘True Stories’

Emperor Joshua Norton I

by Bunk Five Hawks X ( 78 Comments › )
Filed under History, Humor, OOT, Open thread, Patriotism, Politics, Satire at August 21st, 2012 - 11:00 pm

Joshua Abraham Norton understood that the Union was in disrepair in 1859, and realized that he alone could save the United States of America from certain catastrophe. He also understood that an Englishman such as himself was barred from running for President via The US Constitution, so for legitimate reasons he unselfishly declared himself Emperor Norton the First.

Via Wiki: In accordance with his self-appointed role of emperor, Norton issued numerous decrees on matters of the state. After assuming absolute control over the country, he saw no further need for a legislature, and on October 12, 1859, he issued a decree that formally “dissolved” the United States Congress. In the decree, Norton observed:

“…fraud and corruption prevent a fair and proper expression of the public voice; that open violation of the laws are constantly occurring, caused by mobs, parties, factions and undue influence of political sects; that the citizen has not that protection of person and property which he is entitled.”

He was humored and tolerated at the time. Meanwhile I’ve put in an order for more Joshua Nortons. Any and all may apply via the comments section, here on
The Overnight Open Thread.

 

When the Carp Hits the Fan

by Bunk Five Hawks X ( 168 Comments › )
Filed under Art, Humor, Open thread, Sports at November 20th, 2010 - 11:00 pm


[via Robots and Donuts.]

A long time ago one of Bunk’s friends got the “Rock ‘em Sock ‘em Robots” for Christmas. Bunk was filled with envy, until he saw what a stupid piece of carp it really was, but it was cool for 15 minutes until my friend and I decided to take it apart to find out why it was really a piece of carp.

That’s when the carp hit the fan with my friend’s Mom. Bunk realized that his own mom was calling about the same time and had to go.

Yeah, Bunk woosed out, but Bunk wasn’t stupid either, and survived to fess up and tell his story on The Overnight Open Thread.

Brick’s Spider

by Bunk Five Hawks X ( 179 Comments › )
Filed under Art, Guest Post, Humor, Open thread at November 19th, 2010 - 11:00 pm

Bugs I can do…spiders…not so much.

Damn near wrecked my car once on I-81. Flipped down the sun visor and a big-ass spider, about the size of a manhole cover drops down about 6 inches in front of my face and just hangs there swinging ever so slightly on his 200 lb. shock cord, about as thick as my thumb. We were eye-to-eye and even with my sun-glasses on, he had me outnumbered 2 to 1. It was so big it completely blocked my view through the windshield. I think I blacked out for a moment because the next thing I remember I was off the side of the road, trying to get out of my car, with my seat-belt still hooked in.

I noticed my sunroof was open, and off to the side of the road something caught my eye. I saw what I thought looked like a deer being dragged through heavy brush with a similar colored shock cord with 2 big puncture wounds on his neck…and a hairy leg as big around as a telephone pole disappearing into the thickets.

It’s a good thing too, because if I’d have gotten out of my seat belt, that spider would have got a whoopin’ to end all whoopins.

Awesome story via Brick. Image from here. Arachnophobia courtesy of The Overnight Open Thread.