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Posts Tagged ‘Snark’

Guess What’s Wrong With This Picture.

by Bunk Five Hawks X ( 32 Comments › )
Filed under Media, Multiculturalism, Open thread, Political Correctness, Progressives at August 15th, 2019 - 11:00 pm

Not sure? I’ll give you a hint. It shows up at 00:47. I didn’t catch it the first time around, but it’s subtlesnark x 11. I’ll wait…

Got nothing? Take another shot. Here’s the vid:

Will someone please tell these innocents that the word “gullible” cannot be found in any English dictionary? I dunno, Babs. But I do know this:

It’s time for the Overnight Open Thread.

Canada Considers Fence On Southern Border To Stem Wave Of Illegal Immigration

by Bunk Five Hawks X ( 4 Comments › )
Filed under America, Canada, Elections 2010, Elections 2012, Humor, Immigration, immigration, Mexico, Politics, Russia, Satire, Special Report at November 22nd, 2014 - 10:54 pm

CAUTION

Mexico allows Central and South American immigrants to pass through her borders on 72 hour visas, and most of those people are headed for the porous southern border of the US. As these illegal immigrants pour in, local pressure builds, and now there’s another movement happening at the US – Canadian Border. Canadians don’t like it.

US Canada Border Fence

Here’s the full transcript from The Manitoba Herald 1 December 2010:

Border Fence Proposed
by Clive Runnels
The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The recent actions of the Tea Party and the fact Republicans won the Senate are prompting an exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they’ll soon be required to hunt, pray, and to agree with Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck.

Canadian border farmers say it’s not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.  “I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,” said Southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold,exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn’t have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?”

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields. “Not real effective,” he said. “The liberals still got through and Rush annoyed the cows so much that they wouldn’t give any milk.”

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, and drive them across the border where they are simply left to fend for themselves. “A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions,” an Ontario border patrolman said. “I found one carload without a single bottle of imported drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though.” When liberals are caught, they’re sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.

In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans in powdered wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the ’50s. “If they can’t identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age,” an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and are renting all the Michael Moore  movies. “I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can’t support them,” an Ottawa resident said. “How many art-history majors does one country need?”

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Biden met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals. A source close to President Obama said, “We’re going to have some Paul McCartney and Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might even put some endangered species on postage stamps. The President is determined to reach out,” he said.

The US and Canada are not the only countries experiencing an influx of illegal immigrants crossing their southern borders. Check out this image from Vladikavkaz, Russia:

illegal-immigrants-in-russia

If the Theory of Global Worming is true, there’s going to be a massive influx of people from all regions south of the Arctic Circle, judging from the current migration patterns.

Sure, Canada has Molson’s and poutine, but I’m gonna stay put and watch the parade. By the way, The Manitoba Herald folded in 1877, there is no such person named Clive Runnels, and I am not the author of the quoted satirical article. Go figger.

“Dang! You were right!”

by Bunk Five Hawks X ( 10 Comments › )
Filed under Art, Bigotry, Caption This, Humor, OOT, Open thread at August 22nd, 2012 - 11:00 pm

“Well I’m a sonofabitch! It DOES taste like ass!”

Caption contest? Why the hell not. Avast ye puddlers and snark away me bitches on The Overnight Open Thread.

Emperor Joshua Norton I

by Bunk Five Hawks X ( 78 Comments › )
Filed under History, Humor, OOT, Open thread, Patriotism, Politics, Satire at August 21st, 2012 - 11:00 pm

Joshua Abraham Norton understood that the Union was in disrepair in 1859, and realized that he alone could save the United States of America from certain catastrophe. He also understood that an Englishman such as himself was barred from running for President via The US Constitution, so for legitimate reasons he unselfishly declared himself Emperor Norton the First.

Via Wiki: In accordance with his self-appointed role of emperor, Norton issued numerous decrees on matters of the state. After assuming absolute control over the country, he saw no further need for a legislature, and on October 12, 1859, he issued a decree that formally “dissolved” the United States Congress. In the decree, Norton observed:

“…fraud and corruption prevent a fair and proper expression of the public voice; that open violation of the laws are constantly occurring, caused by mobs, parties, factions and undue influence of political sects; that the citizen has not that protection of person and property which he is entitled.”

He was humored and tolerated at the time. Meanwhile I’ve put in an order for more Joshua Nortons. Any and all may apply via the comments section, here on
The Overnight Open Thread.