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Posts Tagged ‘Satire’

Canada Considers Fence On Southern Border To Stem Wave Of Illegal Immigration

by Bunk Five Hawks X ( 4 Comments › )
Filed under America, Canada, Elections 2010, Elections 2012, Humor, Immigration, immigration, Mexico, Politics, Russia, Satire, Special Report at November 22nd, 2014 - 10:54 pm


Mexico allows Central and South American immigrants to pass through her borders on 72 hour visas, and most of those people are headed for the porous southern border of the US. As these illegal immigrants pour in, local pressure builds, and now there’s another movement happening at the US – Canadian Border. Canadians don’t like it.

US Canada Border Fence

Here’s the full transcript from The Manitoba Herald 1 December 2010:

Border Fence Proposed
by Clive Runnels
The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The recent actions of the Tea Party and the fact Republicans won the Senate are prompting an exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they’ll soon be required to hunt, pray, and to agree with Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck.

Canadian border farmers say it’s not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.  “I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,” said Southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold,exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn’t have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?”

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields. “Not real effective,” he said. “The liberals still got through and Rush annoyed the cows so much that they wouldn’t give any milk.”

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, and drive them across the border where they are simply left to fend for themselves. “A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions,” an Ontario border patrolman said. “I found one carload without a single bottle of imported drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though.” When liberals are caught, they’re sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.

In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans in powdered wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the ’50s. “If they can’t identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age,” an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and are renting all the Michael Moore  movies. “I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can’t support them,” an Ottawa resident said. “How many art-history majors does one country need?”

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Biden met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals. A source close to President Obama said, “We’re going to have some Paul McCartney and Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might even put some endangered species on postage stamps. The President is determined to reach out,” he said.

The US and Canada are not the only countries experiencing an influx of illegal immigrants crossing their southern borders. Check out this image from Vladikavkaz, Russia:


If the Theory of Global Worming is true, there’s going to be a massive influx of people from all regions south of the Arctic Circle, judging from the current migration patterns.

Sure, Canada has Molson’s and poutine, but I’m gonna stay put and watch the parade. By the way, The Manitoba Herald folded in 1877, there is no such person named Clive Runnels, and I am not the author of the quoted satirical article. Go figger.

Teapot Looks Like Hitler? I Don’t Think So.

by Bunk Five Hawks X ( 128 Comments › )
Filed under Art, Humor, Nazism, OOT, Satire at May 31st, 2013 - 7:00 pm

You’ve probably seen/heard the story by now. There’s a JC Penney billboard advertisement on the 405 freeway near Culver City California that’s created some controversy. Apparently some southbound commuters in bumper-to-bumper traffic are getting way too many fumes in their noggins, and decided that an image of a teapot looks EXACTLY like Adolf Hitler.

I happened to be in the Culver City area last week, saw the billboard in question. I thought little of it, but after all the hoopla I shot this pic today:

JC Perney Billboard 405 S

Doesn’t look much like Hitler to me (maybe a bit like Charles Johnson circa 2004) but apparently the good folks at Breitbart.com bought into it as well.

Hitler Tea Kettle Sells Out

Hitler, Chaplin, Johnson – I dunno, Babs, but I do know this.
It’s time for a Friday Edition of The Overnight Open Thread.

Not A Photoshop.

by Bunk Five Hawks X ( 17 Comments › )
Filed under Humor, OOT, Open thread, Satire at March 12th, 2013 - 10:00 pm

Blame our pal Bordm for half of that, blame Erich von Däniken for the other half, and blame me for posting it on The Overnight Open Thread.

It Only Hurts When I Laugh

by 1389AD ( 98 Comments › )
Filed under Barack Obama, Economy, Healthcare, Humor, Misery Index, Music, Open thread, Satire, unemployment at June 8th, 2011 - 5:00 pm

How much of this is satire, and how much is truth?

You tell me.

JibJab – Big Box Mart

Uploaded by JibJab on Oct 16, 2007

In this funny cartoon, an honest factory worker learns the truth about his favorite department store: that there’s a very high cost for everyday low prices. Namely, unemployment!

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Grandma Got Run Over By Obama – Health Care Parody

Uploaded by harvolson on Aug 25, 2009
Grandma Got Run Over By Obama
A song parody from the 8-17-09 Fred Thompson Show (56:30), set to an appropriate slideshow of images.

Rush Limbaugh – Paul Shanklin Sings “The Man Who Shot Osama Bin Laden”

Uploaded by MrTimotheus85 on May 6, 2011

The Scar on Obama’s Head: Possible Causes

Uploaded by xxxxxxxpimptaddyone on Apr 12, 2011

Obama appears to have a long scar which goes up the side of his head and over his crown.

Some conspiracy theorists claim they are scars that you would see on someone who has had brain surgery.

But without medical records (along with his school records and birth certificate) no one seems to be able to provide an answer as to the cause of the mystery scars.

Ben Hart, a blogger for Escape The Tyranny a website which presents itself as a Social Network & Forum For Conservatives, said: ‘Obama’s almost done with his first term, and we still know almost nothing about the background of the President of the United States.

‘Whatever happened to create that scar, it was clearly something serious. Was it a brain operation? Has it affected his thinking?

‘No one is allowed to see his birth certificate. He is just one big mystery man, which adds intrigue to what that huge scar is all about.’

The National Institute of Health conducted a study on the value of the ear-crease sign in predicting the presence of coronary artery disease. The study consisted of 340 consecutive patients who underwent coronary arteriography. In this selected population, 75.6% of whom had coronary artery disease, the sensitivity of the sign was 59.5%, the specificity 81.9% and the positive predictive value 91.1%.

The sign was associated with increasing age but was also independently associated with obstructive coronary artery disease. No significant correlation was found between the sign and the presence of risk factors or other signs of such disease, except for corneal arcus. In symptomatic patients the sign suggested the presence of more extensive coronary artery disease. In an asymptomatic population with a low prevalence of coronary artery disease it appears to be of limited value in predicting obstructive coronary artery disease. However, it may identify a subset of patients prone to early ageing and to the early development of coronary artery disease, whose prognosis might be improved by early preventive measures.

Coronary artery disease (CAD) is an important health concern for African Americans, who are diagnosed with CAD at high rates.

The scar itself is interesting.

In “Dreams..,” there are two references to scars. Only one applies to Obama, and that resulted from a large cut on his arm he received as a child in Indonesia (page 49).

Obama also tells of a wound he received on his head (page 36), also in Indonesia, when struck by a rock, thrown by another child. In the book, Lolo Soetoro describes the wound — “it’s not bleeding.”

There’s no mention of Obama’s wound in the single-page “doctor’s note” he released during the campaign (by comparison, John McCain released 1,173 pages of his medical records to the press). So where did that nasty “hockey stick-shaped” scar on Obama’s head come from? — an accident? — a mugging? — an operation? You know he remembers.

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