Okay, let’s forget about that obnoxious sugary garbage and face reality. This is what it’s really all about, at least for most guys:

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If there’s one holiday I could do without (besides Fathers Day) it’s St. Valentine’s Day. It’s nothing but a windfall for Hallmark Cards and the flower and candy industry.

Hell, even Saint Valentine isn’t recognized in the Catholic liturgy, because nobody knows who he was or what he did. They’re not even sure that it was one person or several named Valentine (like Valentine The Necromancer, Valentine The Cat-Like Ball of Fury, or Valentine of The Swamp People) .

Might as well call it St. Bunk’s Day, and everyone wears red and heads for the bars around noon, just to give St. Patrick some honest competition. At least the pubs could serve genuine red ale instead of adding green food coloring to overpriced pitchers of BudLight.

Yeah, it’s a long shot, but hey, after all, we can sanctify anything we want to on The Overnight Open Thread.