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Posts Tagged ‘Theater of the Absurd’

Nancy Pelosi: “I’m No Wuss!” Plucks Out Own Eyeball as Proof

by Bunk Five Hawks X ( 155 Comments › )
Filed under Climate, Democratic Party, Humor, Open thread, Politics, Weather at March 6th, 2010 - 7:00 pm


Cleveland Ohio (Strutts News Services) – Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi startled a gathering of patrons attending a fundraiser for Wiccan congressional candidate Lannie Foosers.

When asked by Foosers’ campaign manager Tooncie Crumbler what she intends to do about the ever-increasing bat wing shortage, Ms. Pelosi quickly and deftly removed her right eyeball, and declared that she would do everything in her power to stop global warming caused by the previous administration.

The crowd gasped, but then applauded, as Ms. Pelosi replaced her orb as quickly as she had removed it. She then blinked 52 times per second for the next 13 minutes. Ms. Crumbler suddenly and unexpectedly spontaneously combusted, erupting in blue flames while seated in the front row.

Ms. Crumbler was rushed to St. Vincent Charity Hospital where she is recuperating from 1st and 2nd degree burns on her upper torso. Complete recovery is expected.

No other injuries were reported, and no more questions were asked. The fundraiser ended three hours early, and Ms. Pelosi left quietly on her broom.

[Previously posted a long time ago here.]

Yes, Virginia, some Scientists are Moonbats

by snork ( 152 Comments › )
Filed under Climate, Iran, Science, Tranzis at January 14th, 2010 - 6:00 pm

There are a few “scientific” organizations organizations in the world that are thinly disguised left-wing activist organizations. The most well-known is the Union of Concerned Scientists. This joke of an organization once sent Bill Nye the Science Guy (!) to debate a real scientist, Richard Lindzen. The result was palpably hilarious regardless of whether or not you were actually following the argument, just because of the body language (starting at ~7:22).

Note Nye’s reference to “extra people”. Slouching toward eugenics.

Other political organizations masquerading as scientific ones are Realclimate.org, and Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists. BAS famously keeps the “doomsday clock”, which was originally created to scare the public by showing us how close to nuclear Armageddon we are, but later climate meltdown was added as an Armageddon factor.

I guess they nipped a little too much hopenchange. They recently set the hand from five minutes to Armageddon to six minutes. This was done out of optimism concerning both reduced nuclear risk, and reduced climate risk. First the statement on nukes:

A key to the new era of cooperation is a change in the U.S. government’s orientation toward international affairs brought about in part by the election of Obama. With a more pragmatic, problem-solving approach, not only has Obama initiated new arms reduction talks with Russia, he has started negotiations with Iran to close its nuclear enrichment program, and directed the U.S. government to lead a global effort to secure loose fissile material in four years.

Sometimes all you can say is wow. Just wow. That statement is so absurd on so many levels, I don’t know where to start.  Discuss.

Moving right along to climate Armageddon, we have a statement that makes up for in silliness what it lacks in absurdity:

[F]or the first time ever, industrialized and developing countries alike are pledging to limit climate-changing gas emissions that could render our planet nearly uninhabitable.

Oh, is that what happened in Copenchangen? I thought the whole thing fell through, and they duct taped together a face-saving facade of an agreement, because the entire world is getting extremely jaded with the whole issue, with the worst winter in decades overtaking the northern hemisphere and internet revelations of hanky-panky by alarmist scientists.

Whatever. There’s still more hopenchange in the bong. Bogart it, because it’s going to run out some day. That’s the real Armageddon that you’re all worried about, isn’t it?

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A footnote: Bill Nye’s scientific credentials consist of a BS in Mechanical Engineering. He did work for a while as an engineer, but spent most of his career as an entertainer, first as a comedian, based on his incredibly nerdy persona, before doing the PBS things. This is the public face of UCS. Thermohaline indeed.